One day last week, a friend and I went to the grocery store to eat lunch. Yes, there is a deli inside and it is fantastic. Before we were leaving, I felt like going over to the coffee area and getting an Irish Cream. As I was in line, I found myself looking at all the people and saw a little girl, maybe nine or so. You could tell she was a sick little girl and that she had cancer of some sort ( as she hardly had any hair on her head). As I looked up, I saw her beautiful mom with courage and strength and in my mind I wondered what turmoil this family had been through. As I continued to look I saw the love that was showered over this little girl. She had a little pink purse just her size and a stuffed puppy dog sticking its head out. I thought to myself how lucky I am, my daughter, and my family. And in this I gave a smile and began to go on my way. As I was leaving , this little girl waited for me came up to check out and came up to me with the most angelic smile and sparkling eyes that danced like stars . She said “Hi” as happy as she could. I managed a happy hi though my heart was breaking inside. I started to say something about the puppy dog, but she didn’t hear. Then, she smiled a big smile and waved good-bye. As my eyes filled with water, I looked at the mom so in love with her child, we smiled at each other and I headed on my way. As my friend was saying “Mary, don’t cry” My heart gave in to a beautiful girl with sparkling eyes that made me realized how blessed I am, each and everyday of my life. I will continue to pray for the girl with sparkling eyes and her mother to overcome and be healed from their adversities. As for me that day, I was healed out of the selfishness in my life, if not for the moment of a beautiful nine-year old girl with a heart of an angel decided to smile at me. Thank you God for the blessings you give in my life each and everyday.
Category: Family
God is good all the time, all the time God is good. And it seems that whenever the door closes he always helps us to find a window of opportunity. And so, my story on how the move took place begins.
For sometime Sean and I had discussed moving back to Texas. We are both close to our families and friends and honestly both homesick where we were. It is amazing how things can change in a blink of an eye.
Sean got a call from Amarillo Tech Tel on Wednesday and they said he would need to start on that Following Monday. Sarah and I could stay an additional week to pack and get things in order, etc. Time to get boxes, begin to organize the move. Making lists of what needs to be done and pack, pack and pack some more.
Sean goes to Amarillo on that Sunday. At this time our original move date was one week later with Sarah and I left to do all the packing. A lot, but I had a week so I knew it could be done.
Sidenote, my sister Leslie and brother-in-law Tim live in Tuttle one town away from Mustang. The original plan was to borrow their trailer and haul everything back that Saturday. Why do you ask is this information relivant?Plans change.
Plans change. It is now Tuesday and I receive a call from my Mom saying that Tim called her and had an idea to help. That Saturday the rain chance was 85% and with just Sarah and I, Tim was worried. He said if agreed too, that they would rent a U-haul for us, help us pack and load on one condition it had to be done that very day. Because Leon (Tim’s dad) and him had business in Tulia the next day and they would drive the u-haul and park it for us. I agreed and the race was on. Panic starts to swell within me. Can I honestly get this all done? At this point I believe it is good that I am on Paxil because if I wasn’t I think I might have had the anxiety attack of a lifetime.
A short time later my sister comes to help me finish packing. And then Tim, Jacob and Brian come to start loading. It was a long night with few rests in between but by 11:00 pm that night the apartment was empty and the loading complete. Tired beyond belief and dead on my feet Sarah and I spent the night with my sister.
The next day I start doing last-minute cleaning, vacuuming, etc. With the help from Jean, Mary and Roger. Have I mentioned what great family and friends I have that surround me. I am blessed. That very night Sarah and I (and also two very unhappy cats in a pet carrier) drive to Amarillo, and make it safe and sound that evening.
It all seems so surreal, at times I still don’t feel like I am really here. It all happened so fast. Adjusting becomes easier everyday and seeing familiar faces and friends makes us know that this is a God thing and to enjoy the ride.
I am blessed to be back at the same church with my same church friends. I have reconnected with some of my old high school friends and am still praying to find the right job and fit for me. The time has been nice though because I have had a chance to settle in, unpack and rejuvenate.
I feel like I am at a good place right now. Where I am supposed to be for family and friends and pray that this move is moving me in the right direction with my life.
I feel like over the course of the last years I have grown more and pray that I continue to do so. It is so good to be around family. Sarah can be closer with Grandma, Aunt Sis, Uncle John, and the kiddos. And I can be closer to my mom while she battles her illness. I know their may be more in God’s plan than I am able to see right now but I trust and love God and know it will be alright.
Thank you Jesus for all the people you put in my life and surround me with. And I pray that I am a light that shines for you always.
Playing in the snow when you are a child is a rite of passage. My daughter is no exception. Today, Sarah wanted to play in the snow. And to be honest, I love it too. It brings out the kid in me. So today, like any good parent would do I dressed my five-year old as if she was going on a trip to the Antarctica. tights, socks, extra sock, pants, undershirt, turtle neck, coat, hat, gloves and of course snowboots. It use to drive me crazy when my mom would do that to me, and yet here I do the same. I feel like it’s the scene in The Christmas Story when the little kid can barely catch up to his friends because he has so much stuff on.
The snow has almost melted away here, but there is still enough for a five-year old to play in. Today, Sarah has made snow angels, we had a snow fight, and yes she ate some snow. It reminds me of when I was little and mom would give me a big bowl and tell me to get some snow. Only two rules applied, make sure no one had stepped in it, and that it wasn’t yellow. I would bring the snow in and mom would start the magical concoction. While she added the vanilla, eggs, sugar, etc, I would go out and get another bowl of snow that she would add to the tantalizing mixture. And before we knew it, snow ice cream was the snack of the day. Yum …
Sarah is now taking a nice hot bath and I am about to make some hot chocolate for the two of us. How blessed I am to have such a wonderful little girl, to play with and love. How I treasure these moments.
As I lay down for bed and look out my window I see the snow on the ground,crystallization of snow sparkles like twinkling stars in the sky and I drift off.
Then the memories unfold in my mind, as if relying on yesterday will help me get through my tomorrows.
I sometimes wonder, How? Or why? Has so much happened in our family. We are very close and love each other very much, but it seems as if our demise is always health related. How do I begin? What do I say? I suppose the first I remember starts with me. I was young and afraid and am lucky that I am alive today. Being nine and going through so much can effect a life more than people give credit for. People are cruel and mean especially when they do not understand illnesses and when they are children.
Jump to my senior year in high school and now my families world is about to change forever. My mom has breast cancer and goes through chemo and radiation. I never let mom see me cry. She was going through enough herself I didn’t want to burden her with anything else. My friends, my prayers, but most all my God heals mom and she is in remission. This time in my life changes me. It’s when I find strength I never knew I had. It’s when I realized that it hurts you more to see someone you love go through so much and you can’t control it, and all you can do is have faith.
Freshman year in college dad’s diagnosed with lung cancer. Misdiagnosed with lung cancer, right before the Denver Livestock show. Mom and Dad take a second honeymoon to Colorado instead. They finally tell the family. We are all in disbelief. Dad never smoked or drank. Later, we find it is not lung cancer it is Multiple myeloma/Bone Marrow Cancer. Dad takes radiation, his immune system is down – he gets shingles. Later that year, with immune system still down dad falls into an unexpected coma they say could be next 24 hours before he dies. My cousin gets me from my dorm at school and my hell begins. I wait for my brother-in-law and another cousin to pick me up. Road conditions are bad and I am five hours away from home. We spend the next two weeks at the hospital hoping and praying for a miracle. A lung collapses what do we do? Mom has my brother and I talk to the doctor with her. He lives. Weeks later he wakes up. We found out it was meningitis and now he has brain damage. I go back to college and am a complete mess the rest of the semester bursting into tears at the drop of a hat, while in the meantime, during all of this “my boyfriend” was cheating on me. I can pick ‘em can I. You never know what to expect with your friends. Some friends that I thought would be there weren’t. Some friends kept me from going insane, and then some people became my friends because of the dark circumstances in my life. Medical bills are intense. I take the money left from my college fund and medical bills arepaid with it. Due to this I do not graduate, though I only lacked 13 hours. The next six to seven years my dad lives in a nursing home. His long-term memory is as good as ever, his short-term memory, not so much. He get’s me confused with my sister. I think times will never change. He has a small improvement, enough to go live at home. Which is tremendously hard on my mom. She has now become the care giver, and it takes a toll.
When I was growing up, I hardly remember my dad with a cold and now this. It’s as if he is a modern-day job case. Words cannot even express the feelings going in and out of my mind every day. When dad fell into a coma so may years ago, it was Halloween. So ironic. I remember talking to my then”boyfriend” in the chapel on the school campus and in comes my sorority sister and my dorm buddy Aricia and Amy. I head back and Melissa is waiting. No words are needed. She calmly puts her hands on my shoulder and I know. I live that moment over and over. I feel such guilt and remorse because before dad fell into a coma, a week before we had an argument over the phone. The next time, he woke up – well, he was never really dad again and my heart is broken.
Now I am married and happy. After a little over a year my husbands father dies unexpectedly and the remorse and the stress in unbelievably tough. The next year, my father dies. A 13 year battle. It has now been eight years since my dad died. It took him from Amarillo to MD Anderson in Houston back home. Ending in hospice. The day I find out my husband and best friend are moving us to our Grandmother’s house to save money for a while is the day he died. Within two weeks our car gets taken, and I lose touch with a friend for a while. Strength only comes from God and a little paxil.
Now things have leveled out – or so it seems. And I find out my mom also has multiple-myeloma The memories come flooding back and I am afraid. Will it be a re-run of the past? Or will it be a whole new future. All we can do is have faith, pray and go through it. God takes care of the rest. Please pray it’s a lot to go through.
at night and in the morning and had to do an MRI. They found nine holes internally in her head. At this point, the oncologist that she was working with has never seen a case like this, He said there is a slight possibility of her having multiple myeloma. They have not made a true diagnosis of this yet and tomorrow she goes in for a PET scan and a bone survey. Depending what they find she may need to have bone marrow extracted from her spinal cord which she has to do awake. Please pray for her this is a very painful procedure as they cannot put you to sleep for it. After that the oncologist and neurologist will get together and research as to what can be. The oncologist has been in the field over 30 years and has never seen anything like this.
Today is Sarah’s birthday. I can’t believe I have a five year old (gulp). I keep thinking back on memories and in ways it feels as if she should still be a baby; and then in other ways it’s gone by so fast that I can’t believe she is in Pre- k.
I always promised myself that I would never have a spoiled child. This child wants for nothing. And, I guess a little bit of spoiling is okay, Alright I’ll admit it a lot of spoiling is okay. Hey you only have one childhood might as well make it the best you can.
We had a small family b-day party yesterday and I think between me, the grandparents, the Aunts and Uncles that my child should have some stock at Toys R Us ( : It was such a delight to see the joy in Sarah’s eyes and the happiness that illuminated the room. She is the light of my life.
The theme this year was Scooby Doo and the cake was precious. Who knew Scooby Doo could go pink, but I have to admit it was very cute.
For now, I am making little treat sacks to give to her friends at Day Care and Pre-k and two sets of cupcakes for both groups. Who knew the things our parents use to do for us that we never appreciate until we become a parent. So if she’s sugared up tomorrow it’s no ones fault but mine.
I am going to tuck her in bed now and sing her ” You are my Sarah” ( You Are My Sunshine) I replace her name with “Sunshine”. It’s her ” night, night” song and then I am going to thank God for giving me Sarah to share for a while. She gives my life meaning.
Last Saturday kicked off the State Fair and tomorrow it already ends, unbelievable. Yes, I went to the fair today and sometimes if you’re an observer like I am, it changes your perception in more ways than one. First off, today was hot, luckily a cool breeze swept through the air and in the streets, which were lined with people of all shapes, sizes, ages and moods.
I always look forward to the fair. As a child, the event stirred such excitement in me, the rides, the booths, and of course the fair food.
The distinct aroma of the livestock competitors drifted in the air, mixing with the music playing in the background from all kinds of rides. Babies, sticky with the residue of goodies rocked along as their parents navigated their strollers around bulky electric cables that fueled the rides, and children crying because it was to hot and they were to tired to be there, of course i’m not talking about my adorable child ( : Teenagers clumped together in groups, their Letterman jackets branding them according to school loyalties. Couples of every age meander through the crowd, holding hands and creating a world of their own within the bustle.
The crispy scent of food venders with all my favorite goodies and more swirl in the air smelling of footlong corn dogs, cheese sticks, turkey legs — and just about everything else– mixed with warm, fresh, sweet cotton candy sent my taste buds into a fury of indecision. In the end, roasted corn and a large glass of lemonade won. Feeling stuffed like one of the cheap teddy bears on the wall above the dart and balloon games, it was now time for my daughter to ride the kiddie rides. The tilt a whirl, the swing, bouncers, are just a few of the rides that gave my daughter exhilarated bliss. Surprisingly, after all the food, the spins and undulating circles it still didn’t bother us.
Some people don’t take to rides well; okay so I admit it, I don’t do roller coasters and I will never do roller coasters unless forced. Of course, the rest of the family adores roller coasters, so I am sadly outnumbered. I would love to bring a friend along at some point, that feels the same way I do then I wouldn’t have to hold the camera, drinks, etc. And I would have someone to talk to.
Have I mentioned the walking. Walking a significant amount of the day, for 5 1/2 hours … yes, lots and lots of walking. During this precious time my child threw the most amazing fit I think I have ever seen. It was academy award-winning and epic. Once the tears and stomping (from the child) had ceased, it was decided to go home. Over all a great day, but I think my four year old might have been pushed to her limits. Lesson learned – take your child in the evening to the fair, not nearly as dramatic.
We got back from the family reunion near San Angelo (Robert Lee) late last night. Most people complain about family reunions or they don’t even have them. Our family LOVES them, and we enjoy each other’s company so much!
We didn’t get to go last year, but had fun making up for lost time. I always forget how fun it’s going to be until we get there.
Sister in law and brother in law brought their two foster kids and are doing incredible. They are all so happy. It is truly a wonderful sight. The kids are adjusting just like they should be, and they had a great time with my daughter playing. The three of them rode bikes, swam, played games, etc. It brought back wonderful memories of my childhood. The times that we wish we could hold on to forever.
It was 109 Saturday and I was so glad we were all inside where the air conditioners were working. All of the girls stayed inside and played “Catch Phrases” and “Buzz Word” and ate, and ate, and ate… you get the idea, the guys all went to play golf.
Saturday night we sang hymns. I love that part of the family reunions. Hymns really minister to me and there’s just something wonderful about sitting around and seeing all of your family singing along.
Sunday we went to church, ate a fabulous lunch and had a fairly relaxing afternoon. We left the reunion about 5:30 and made it back to town at midnight.
The girl I work with is on vacation this week and I am working her schedule 6:30 – 3:30. It was hard getting up early but I am glad i’m off now.
So, I’m back in the swing of things and loving every minute of it. More soon ….
So the excitement in our family for the week is going to our family reunion this coming weekend. On the Way to work this morning my daughter asks me if I have ever flown in a plane? I say yes, I traveled a lot when I was younger. She says did I fly in a plane when I was in heaven? I said I don’t know honey, but I bet you were flying with the angels. Then she says, I want to fly in a plane sometime and I want you to fly it. I told her it wasn’t quit that easy and that you have to be a pilot. She said that’s o.k. mommy you can still fly it with me.
Later on … she keeps asking if tonight is when we get to go to the hotel? I keep telling her no, it is this weekend. So I am picking her up from day care and she tells one of her teachers that we are going to San Angela. I say, no honey it’s “lo”… she says oh ya we are going to “San Angelo lo”.
You gotta love kids ( :
